Tea With A Hint Of Honey
by Honestcannibal
Summary: Shaun needs a break, but refuses to do so. When he finally decides to take one, Desmond has other ideas instead of a nice cup of tea - Oneshooooot!


**Don't know about other places of the world, but here in England you get massive jars of honey, which is stupid because I don't even like honey. And who the hell is gunna eat a whole 9 litres of honey? You'd die. Anyway, enjoy this, it took me so long because I got stuck! That's when Delusional Nighttimes came along! **

Respiration. Usually it is helped by sleeping, sleep is important to the brain and concentration. Something this certain historian didn't have and refused to do.

"For the last and final time, Desmond, go away!"

"You haven't slept for three days, can't blame him for bugging you." Rebecca interrupted spinning around on her chair.

"Thank you Rebecca, I think I realise that my head is thumping due to lack of sleep." Shaun turned to Rebecca and glared.

"Then take a break!" Desmond literally yelled. There was a silence, quite a long one before Shaun stood from his desk and rubbed his eyes, "Fine. If it'll stop you two prats harassing me, I'll take a break. Five minutes, then I'm getting back to work."

Desmond sighed, _well...at least it's a break, right?_

Desmond was right, Shaun needed a break. A long, deep rest. Previously, he'd found a huge amount of hidden data about the Borgias so for days on end he'd been trying to decode it all. With many cups of coffee, morning after morning stubble and a shit load of failure, Shaun just wouldn't give up. _Stubborn British bastard _is what Desmond would call him when he refused to leave his work station, which in Shaun's opinion, was heaven.

Ah, there it was, the kitchen, the place of worship, the place that held one British man's only need; _tea!_

There was a small problem though. Somehow, a certain American bastard had made it to the kitchen before him and was now standing in front of the kettle and cupboard containing the amazing substance with an extremely smug look on his face. "Shaun." Desmond's voice made Shaun shiver as he paused in the doorway, staring at the useless American unfold his arms.

"Desmond. Would you mind getting out of the way of the kettle, love?" Shaun said adding a hint of sarcasm at the end.

"Why don't you come over here and make me?" Desmond smirked, not moving at all. Shaun muttered something innappropriate under his breath and began to approach Desmond, well, the kettle.

Only when was he face to face with Desmond did he notice that the other man really had no intention of moving, "Desmond, I am really not in the mood, get out of my way."

"You're so tired." Desmond said suddenly.

"Oh well done, Desmond the _fucking_ great, you deserve an award for your amazing observation!" Shaun was really losing it, "Here's an idea, why don't you get the fuck out my fucking way so I can make myself some tea and avoid any further conflict!" Okay, he lost it.

Desmond just stared at the British man, obviously stressed and exhausted, he shrugged and rolled his eyes. Turning around, he took a pot of honey out of the cupboard and moved away, he heard Shaun mumble something in annoyance while he switched the kettle on.

Desmond had to admit, he had eyes for the Brit. That handsom complextion accomapanied by his ginger hair and strong, bold black glasses. It all seemed to mix in well for Desmond, it all seemed to be the cherry to his ice cream. _Mmmm, ice cream. _Desmond always had a thing for guys with glasses, ever since he made out with that guy when he was a bartender. Well, it was more than a hot steamy kiss, a play with his sensative spots then a blowjob, but less than a quick fuck in the park.

Shaun turned around with his mug of tea and almost spilled it down himself when he noticed Desmond right behind him just staring at him. To see Desmond half flushed, staring at Shaun while holding a pot of honey was worrying to the Brit. Maybe the bleeding effect kicked in? We all know what Altair did to Malik.

Shaun just didn't want a repeat of what happened last time when he was showering.

_Casually, he stepped out of the shower and put a towel around his waist, wiping the steamed mirror he jumped in complete shock to see Desmond standing a couple of inches behind him, "BLOODY HELL DESMOND!" He turned around, his arms holding onto the sink for support. Desmond was now very close, too close actually. "Uhm, Desmond? What are yo-OKAY, ALRIGHT, STOP TOUCHING ME THERE!" His words cut short when Desmond bent foward to lay a bite on Shaun's neck, his hands finding their way to the towel covering the inappropriate bits and bobs. Shaun pushed him back and caught the towel before it fell completely from his waist, he looked at Desmond who was far into confusion about the violent push, a few words of Arabic left his mouth which made Shaun totally understand the situation. After a few moments of silence, Desmond looked up at Shaun in even more confusion, "What the hell? Shaun, what's-" _

_"Christ Desmond, just get out." Shaun muttered whilst turning a slight shade of red. It's not like he enjoyed Desmond's comany at all, it's bad enough that he's half naked and Desmond's just stood there, staring with those all seeing eyes. Does he have x-ray vision or something? Only after that scene, Desmond asked Shaun about it and he lashed out, complaining that Desmond needs to control his actions and mind. They never spoke of it again. Especially in front of Rebecca. _

Shaun shuddered at the memory. He snapped his fingers in front of Desmond's face, "Desmond? Wakey wakey sleeping beauty."

"I'm awake you moron." Desmond said immediatly.

"Then why are you just staring at me?" Shaun put his tea on the counter, completely forgetting he even made it. Desmond looked away for a moment, "Uhh...I, uh, I need a spoon." What a pathetic way of saying _'Because I want to fuck you!' _

"There is such a thing as speech, Desmond, or even better; asking." The sarcasm was getting worse and more nasty.

"I'm sorry...Can I please have a spoon?"

"By all means." Shaun moved out of the way of the draw and let Desmond get a spoon. In that time, Shaun managed to take a sip of his tea before he heard a smash, a thump and a 'aww fuck' come from the other side of the kitchen. Rolling his eyes, he looked over in no hurry to almost choke on his tea, actually, he did choke. The American bastard had managed to drop the honey pot onto the floor, slipped and fallen on his face into the puddle of honey. So now, he was just a shiny blob of human flesh moulded to the floor.

Shaun laughed.

Yes, _laughed_, he couldn't believe it. The idiot was an idiot! Irony is funny isn't it?

Desmond propped himself onto his elbows and looked at Shaun holding his stomach while laughing. A small smile came to Desmond's face, he'd never seen Shaun laugh so much before, it brought joy to his heart that the historian was laughing at him.

He stood up, after slipping a few times, and looked himself over. Then he looked at the historian who was regaining his sanity, once he pushed his glasses up, he looked at Desmond who put his arms out, "Shaun, c'mere. Gimme a hug," he smiled walking towards Shaun, who backed away, "Desmond, no, don't you dare, no no n-DESMOND!"

Desmond held Shaun tightly and could feel them sticking together because of the sweet, sticky honey, "I'm going to throttle you." Shaun said, "when you let me go, you better run."

"Who said I had any intention of letting you go?" Desmond smirked, cocking an eyebrow. Shaun said nothing, what could he say? He was being held captive by the one American who is thicker than pig shit!

During his thinking, he didn't realise that Desmond had shifted so he had blocked Shaun against the counter and was now close to his ear, "earlier you said I should get an award for noticing how exhausted you were. What award are you willing to give me?" He whispered which sent chills down Shaun's spine.

That one little question made Shaun utterly speechless. His sarcastic manner couldn't create anything for this American douche, he was gobsmacked. If this was a joke, it's not going to be funny when Shaun kicks Desmond's arse out of the kitchen.

"Or maybe you should be punished for not doing as I say?" That whisper was followed by a tounge travelling down Shaun's neck then a pair of teeth sinking into the flesh.

"D-Des...Desmond!" Shaun pushed Desmond back by his shoulders and held them once he'd forced the American away, "Just what the hell are you playing at?"

Desmond was aroused. Oh damn, he was aroused. Just seeing Shaun Hastings, the cranky historian of the team covered in honey, shirt sticking to his skin, glasses askew and blushing was just magical. If Desmond had a camera, he'd make this a photoshoot then masturbate to the pictures later. "Oi, mate." Shaun snapped his fingers in front of Desmond's face, Desmond looked at Shaun then smiled,

"You seemed like you needed some fun." Was the only excuse he had. The historian stared at him, Desmond was unaware of what he was thinking due to his expression being unreadable. He decided to take his chances again and lean in close to Shaun, whose grip lightened on his shoulders. Slowly, their lips met.

Shaun had to admit, the brunette knew how to work his lips, and his tongue once it slipped into the historian's mouth, fighting with his own for dominance. It was pretty obvious who was dominant when a small moan leaked from Shaun's mouth once Desmond's teeth scraped across his neck.

"Don't make them too obvious you idiot..." Shaun held onto the counter,

"Why not? Maybe I want to mark you as mine."

Shaun sighed, "and when did I agree that I was yours?"

"When you let me mark you." Desmond licked Shaun's lower lip and bit on it slightly, which then lead to a deep kiss of teeth and tounges. It was obvious that Shaun didn't want to be the fukeé, he wanted to be the fucker, so he pushed Desmond back against the kitchen door and pinned him there, winning the competition of dominance by grabbing the large bulge under Desmond's denims. A loud gasp of surprise leaked from the brunette as Shaun slipped his hand into the other's boxers and rubbed at his erection, Shaun's face went from flushed to amused.

"I'll mark _you_ as _mine_" he smirked and got down on his knees, releasing Desmond's dick from it's cage. He pumped it with his hand a few times then slipped the tip in his mouth, teasing the other man.

"Ffffuck, why you gotta be a tease for?" Desmond moaned, bucking his hips foward after Shaun removed the dick from his mouth, "fine, have it your way."

And he deep throated it and enjoyed the amazing noise that came from the assassin's mouth, it was a gasp and a moan and a hiss all at the same time. He then began to bob is head and suck on Desmond's cock at a fair pace.

Desmond knitted his fingers into Shaun's short hair and moaned at the pleasures circling his body, but wait..._I'm meant to be the fucker here..._

At that moment, Desmond pulled Shaun's head from his dick and pushed him in to the sticky pool of honey on the floor where he then dominated. They both laid there, breathless for a moment in the pool of honey.

"I wanna fuck you so hard." Desmond breathed out,

"Then do it." Shaun whispered.

"I think I might." The brunette grabbed the front of Shaun's trousers and ripped at them, breaking the button and zip, but really not caring, he'd pay for it tomorrow...along with other things.

Finally, Shaun's erection was free. God, did he moan when it was finally touched by Desmond's slick and sticky hands, which soon moved down to an entrance.

"You're going to use honey as lubricant?" Shaun asked bluntly.

"Well...yeah, I figured it'd be okay..."

"It's sticky, Desmond."

"So what?"

Shaun just sighed and let him carry on. It wasn't long before Desmond grabbed a hand full of honey and shoved all three fingers into Shaun,

"AAH CHRIST, DESMOND!" The historian shouted in a full amount of pain.

"Sorry...I didn't know this was your first time." He shrugged and crooked his fingers, feeling the sticky honey begin to lubricate, as well as a few drops of blood.

"J-just hurry it up." Shaun hissed, which was a bad thing to say, because before he knew it, the head of a certain organ was poking at a certain entrace. Desmond's dick was being easily slipped in due to the amount of honey he'd applied. He could feel Shaun tense and feel nails dig in to his shoulders.

"Fffuck, relax..." He whispered into the historian's ear, nibbling on the earlobe, which thankfully made Shaun relax a little so it was more comfortable for Desmond...Not so much for Shaun though. The other man was biting his lip to try not to scream in agony, this was torture!

Desmond remembered his first time and could relate to how Shaun felt, he pulled the other into a kiss as he seated himself deep inside and waited until he was given permission to move, which wasn't very long.

"It's alright...You can move." Shaun pulled away from the intense kiss. Desmond nodded and began to move, slow and deep. He planted his hands beside Shaun and could feel the honey swirling around his dick, slicking and sticking, it was magical.

Hearing pleasurable moans from Shaun reassured Desmond that the historian wasn't in much pain, so he quickened his pace, trying to hit that special spot. He knew when he did because Shaun's grip on his shoulders would tighten slightly.

"Shit...I'm gonna cum soon..." Desmond started thrusting harder, hoping that Shaun would also cum.

That spot was sending pleasure all around Shaun's body, making him bite his lip from moaning too loudly, he was on the edge, and the smell of sweet honey wasn't helping.

A few thrusts later, and hot cum squirted onto both their stomachs, while Shaun clentched, Desmond couldn't hold it, he thrusted two more times and he was done; burrying himself inside Shaun and enjoyed his name being moaned by the other man.

After a few minutes of regaining energy, Shaun finally spoke, "I can't believe I've been fucked by an American idiot on a kitchen floor."

Desmond laughed slightly and pulled out, hearing a little whimper from Shaun. "I can't believe I fucked a British bastard on a kitchen floor."

"I can't believe I watched the whole thing and am still not turned on." Both men looked at eachother in complete horror and turned towards the doorway, looking directly at Rebecca who had a giant, smug smile on her face as if to say; 'wait until I tell Lucy about this.'

Desmond was beyond embarassed, Shaun was still in shock, Rebecca however, was just plain amused at their faces, "I'll leave you to get cleaned up." And she left.

Desmond and Shaun looked at eachother, speachless until Desmond spoke, "well...look at the bright side, we've invented our own home lurbicant."

"I hate you, Desmond." Shaun said bluntly.

**HONEY IS NOT A GOOD LUBRICANT TO USE SO DON'T USE IT. **

**Had to give you guys a warning before you tried anything xD Sorry for any spelling mistakes, it is late and I do have school tomorrow, if you spot any, tell me! **

**Hope you enjoyed~ **

**0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x**

**the next chapter to The Purple Liquid is on it's way! :D **


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